Grande Battle Galore

Grande Battle Galore

Level: Any. This isn't a serious RP.

Style: Individual

Max Characters: One Character per.

Deadline: Begins when you post.

Change in Rules:

-God Moding is ok in this Rp, in fact, it is mandatory (But the battle still has to be fair; hit some, get hit some.

-This RP would probably be best in First person, as our characters are ourselves, Dhaos is Dhaos, Zenall is Zenall, etc.

-Due to the previous rule change, there is no character sheet needed. Start the Rp whenever you find this thread O_o
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Story:
A typical scientist-like person walks up to the glass that separates you from the outside world. You can hear his voice clearly through the glass and liquid that suspends you. "Ah, glad to see you're awake... Welcome to my little experiment. You and a few other people have been... accepted--"

~Yea, more like forced~

"--to test out the greatest invention ever conceived by the mind of man! But, first, I must see which of you is the greatest fighter. You have each been given a Grande Bag of Hammer Space, and the Drive of Unlimited Wishes, each of which will greatly help you on your battle to defeat one another. What is your incentive, you ask? Why would you fight one another to the death? Well, if you don't, I'll have to eliminate you. Not only are you fighting for the prize, but also, for your life.--"

~Great, the best leverage against a person. Their own life. Real original.~

"Prepare for Battle!" As he says that last word, he dramatically slams his hand on a switch next to your tank, and the glass raises, allowing the fluid you are submerged in to fall onto the ground. Now, you stand in a gigantic white room, the tile is perfectly square beneath your feet, the roof reached almost to the sky, it seemed, and you can see, to a distance, the other people the scientist was talking about, they, too being released from their tanks.

3

2

1

Go!
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I look at a device wrapped around my forearm, it has written on it: Wish Count: ∞. It seemed kind of pointless, but I guess this was the device that granted the wishes. I thought for a second, and said, "Super cool jet pack," but nothing happened. "Umm... I wish for jet pack?" The screen lit up, and a ray of light shot out the device, and materialize a jet pack, with gelled shoulder straps (for extra comfort). I easily slipped it on my back, and activated it, flying into the air. "I wish for a laser-gun arm." My left hand contorted, and rematerialized into a large barreled device, with a large red sphere at the end, I unleashed fire on the first person who came into my sights.

"Well, firstly," I said with a sharp edge to my voice, "I wish for some bad-ass clothes, for I dislike fighting naked..."

The screen lit up and a sphere of light enveloped me, caressing my body in its digital warmth. The sphere collapsed and I emerged wearing black slacks, a white dress shirt, and a black pin-striped vest. I removed the tie from around my neck and placed it around my forehead like a headband. With lifeless eyes I peered at the "Wish Drive Thingymajig."

"I WISH FOR A COLD ONE!" I roared vigorously at the screen. A frosty beer appeared in my hand. "Shiiiiit, I could get used to this!" I joyfully declared, raising the bottle to my lips. Alas, twas not meant to be, for some buzzkilling moron shot the bottle with a lazer, vaporizing it.

"THINGYMAJIG! I WISH FOR SOME POWER GAUNLETS AND GREAVES SO I CAN TEACH THIS FOOL A LESSON!" I howled into the air. Clenching my fists, I leaped at the man with the jetpack and threw a hard right at his face whilst yelling, "DHAOS PAWNCH!"

I yell, seeing a clothed person charge at me. This yell was mainly due to the realization of my own unclothedness, and the fact that there was a boozeless maniac that was about to punch me square in the face. I attempt to dodge, only to move just out of the way to where he punched me in the chest, and I flew backwards, towards the ground.

"I wish for a soft landing, and some clothes, while I'm thinking--" BAM! I had made my wish a bit too long, and hit the hard, cold tile, which for some reason, hadn't broken with my impact. "I wish for clothes...please..." The infinity gauge lit up ∞ -2, and I became clothed in a green hoodie and lightweight pants (Along with other regular attire). Rubbing my back, I stand up and locate the un-inebriated.

"I wish for an army of Imperial Guards."

The wrist-thing glowed, and changed itself to ∞-3, and then a large group of men clad in Imperial Legion Armor started running after the non-drunk drunkard, yelling, "STOP, Criminal SCUM!" and force him to talk to them, in order to tell him that he has a fine for assault--50 gold. One after another stopped him, and told him about his fine, and he had to either choose to pay the debt, go to jail, or resist arrest.

I gaped at the legion of Guards. After a momentary lapse of attention I delivered a swift uppercut to the Guard in front of me. "I CHOOSE RESIST!" I spat at him. Jumping into the air, I lifted my arm and yelled, "I wish I had the ability to fly!" When I realized I wasn't falling down, I nodded in satisfaction. "I wish there was... A Zerg Rush below me!"

I heard a faint rumbling in the distance. The rumbling grew louder and louder until thousands upon thousands of various types of Zergs stampeded across the room.

In alarm, and quick thinking, I yell, " I wish the Imperial guards were fire bats! Zerg's one true weakness!"

The guards quickly became equipped with hundreds of flame throwers, all ready to burn the Zerg to a crisp. I activated my jetpack, and rose several feet into the air, just to be on the safe side, and I then turned my attention to the Zerg Summoner. "Well... I guess... I-wish-for-lazor-eyez!" As soon as the wish was granted, I fired the lasers at the man, laughing at my newly acquired ability. I then picked up the giant metal gun-arm, and fire it at the man. Now he had three lasers going toward him, from the same general direction

"Dude, totally weak!" I yelled at the newly christened "Lazerboy McBuzzkill" as I saw his Fire Bats incenerate my Zergs. I looked towards him to flip him off, but I got hit in the chest by three freaking lazer beams. I gritted my teeth and whispered into my arm a wish. Shortly afterwards the lazers vaporized my entire body.

I laugh, feeling highly victorious, and take the time to wish myself a delicious pizza and some tasty beverage. I then, press onto more important matters, wishing myself a nicely sized metallic castle with a fully automated defense system. I place myself inside the center of this almost completely solid metal box, and hook up several monitors to see the outside world, and to play some frekkin shweet video games, all I have to do is wish for it, and BAM! New game. I made sure that the wireless internet reached through the solid titanium walls, and went on my merry way, playing a cornucopia of games.

"I WISH FOR AN EARTHQUAKE TO SHATTER THIS CASTLE'S FOUNDATION, THEREBY DESTROYING IT!" a spectral voice echoed throughout the titanium fortress. Laughing maniacally I materialized behind Lazerboy and drop kicked him in the back. The earthquake then commenced and began to chip away at the castle. "How you like me now?" I asked, spitting at him, "BITCH!"

Crying, as the pizza slips out of my hand, I hit the ground due to dropkick-ed-ness.

"H-how dare you... my... Pizza!!!" My eyes glow red with anger, and I shot lasers multiple times at the man who destroyed my beloved pizza. But, soon, after realizing the collapsing state of my fortress, I fly out of its crumbling remains--with the help of a wish or two-- and look around for the pizza-ruining asshole. I reach into the bag of hammer space, and pull out the Hammer-of-incredible-largeness-but-for-some-reason-is-really-light-but-still-does-the-damage-of-an-incredibly-large-hammer, and use said hammer to smash the ground, and hopefully the jerk.

Edited: Grammar mistakes/typos.

I use my pre-vaporization whispered wish of granting me the ability to dissimilate my self into tiny particles to escape the fortress and lazer blasts. Reforming my self in the air in front of Lazerboy, I wished for two P90 SMGs with unlimited ammo.

"Now you know how it feels to be brought to the verge of ecstacy and then have it suddenly all crash down around you!" I sneered.

I grunt, swinging the hammer around in front of me, blocking him from my view, and using the hammer a shield. I whispered another wish, and then prepared for the man to open fire. I expected him to disappear and reappear behind me, So I began swinging the hammer around, more and more rapidly. Soon, I looked like a saucer-vortex, a blur of color, as I spun the hammer around like some rope... A rope attached to a big-ass hammer.

I raised my eyebrow in bewilderment. Wondering whether or not Lazerboy was going to unleash a special technique, I tensed my muscles in preparation. After a few minutes, I grew dizzy from the constant rotation of the hammer. "Fuck it!" I spat, and began to fire at him.

The bullets ricocheted off of the hammer, and went bouncing off in all directions, just as a flock of flying Imperial guards came to our height, screaming, "STOP, Criminal SCUM!"

I stop spinning just as the last of the bullets are fired, laughing to see the man bombarded by twenty to thirty guards, "I bet the lag is unbearable!"

"WHAT THE F-" I yelled.
"WHAT THE F-" I yelled.
"WHAT THE F-" I yelled.
"WHAT THE F-" I yelled.

"UUUUUUUUUUUCK?!"
"UUUUUUUUUUUCK?!"
"UUUUUUUUUUUCK?!"
"UUUUUUUUUUUCK?!"

I wished for unlimited bandwidth and superior processing, which the wish itself took quite a while. After the lag, I slaughtered the guards one by one with my forehead. Panting heavily I glared at Lazerboy and growled, "Fuck you."

I smirked, holding up a glowing sigil stone, it's glowing animation, falling down a few feet before dissipating.

"I wish to clone this item five-hundred-million times." I threw the item at the man, and flew far away, far enough to where the sigil stones would not show up on my 3rd person screen, but at the rate the item was multiplying, I had to fly quite some distance to remove myself from any form of lag. Just to be on the safe side, I quick traveled to the nearest stable ((OOC: Apparently, I'm going with an Oblivion theme now)).

I sat there for a few moments wondering what the hell a sigil stone was. I shrugged and with a few wishes, teleported myself behind Lazerboy. A wicked smile played across my face as I gallantly rode up behind Lazerboy on a pure night-black mustang and slammed his back with a steel pole.

"Two words," I jeered, "Processing, power!"

I got hit by that pole, and its force sent me down, but I used this downward thrust to do a complete up-side-down loop, and come up behind the man. I open the Bag of Hammer Space over his head, and pull it down, over his body, engulfing both he, and his majestic horse.

I tightly close the lid, and a thought occurred to me: What would happen if he were to open his own Hammer Space bag, when HE was in Hammer Space.

O_o Paradox?

Since I had already wished for mind-reading earlier I caught the idea of a paradox from Lazerboy. Tempting, but I'm afraid not. Seeing no other options, I wished for six kegs of beer and commenced to partake of the frothy brew.

OOOOOOOOOOOOO

Watching carefully from a mounted distance i noticed two men, bravely locked in combat. I chuckled to myself knowing soon that the satellite that was previously wished for was falling out of orbit towards them. I thought to myself "we are we fighting each other, when we should be fighting our true enemy?" I then wished into my armband, "i wish for a majestic black steed who is strong and can get me safely to this battlefield." My steed then appeared before me and i galloped down the hillside towards the two combatants. I then told my infinite wish arm band, "i wish for some kickass riding music" and "Coat of Arms" by Sabaton began blaring

Wind flowing through my long hair, and theme song blaring in the background, I met with the two men and asked "Brothers, why are we fighting each other, when it is the scientist whom we should be rebeling against for being mere pawns in his sadistic game?"

I sat there in the endless void, with vastly impaired motor skills. Mumbling a drunken ditty, I floated along with a keg in each arm. For a while, I wondered vaguely what was happening outside the Hammer Space, but soon I lost myself into more incoherent musings.

I turn to see a man come up, riding a black horse, and curiously asked,

"Umm, have you been drinking? There's no one else here... except that wizard guy, but he just sits in the corner. Besides, the scientist threatened to kill off anyone who refused to fight. He probably has something planned... stand back, please."

At that, I wish up a laser defense system, locking it onto the man floating in hammer space's DNA (thanks to a second wish), and set the guns around my own Bag of Hammer Space. Next, I wish that the bag was open, and I guessed that inside the bag, there would be a great light that one could fit through, and clearly see.

Everything went white. Massive pain consumed my brain and I lost my grip on the kegs.

"Wuzzah?" I mumbled belligerently.

I quickly placed the first thing I could find over my head, which happened to be my Bag of Hammer Space. The bag consumed me and brought me into safe darkness. I wished for sobriety and a clear mind. I lifted myself out of my bag with my P90s blazing, dealing out a hail of deadly bullets in a 360 degree radius.

"I hope I hit something!"

"well then i guess we'll just have to battle then." and dodging the bulletfire i said into my wish meter, "i wish for a Panzer tank battalion." rolling over the hills i saw my tank army. "Aim for the one with the guns...FIRE" and in a line the tanks fired at the mysterious men.

I see several of my shiny, newly wished guns asplode, as bullets spray out from the bag.

"Ugh, clever."

I wish the bag closed, and turn my attention to the land-armada of panzer tanks. I simply wish a giant hole to swallow them hole.

"Now, what to do about that trigger-happy annoyance."